To stop it - we must name it.

A friend of ours has been borrowing our truck for the past few months and today called to tell me she'd been pulled over by our local police. They said the first thing they noticed was the front license plate was obscured. Next they informed her the owner's license was cancelled.

Now what makes this frustrating, to say the least, is that neither Mark nor I have ever been pulled over in this truck due to the license plate issue, which is the same now as it always has been. Secondly, Mark's license was just renewed this fall, so that is also odd.

So, you might ask, why did our friend get pulled over as she has many times before by our local police for equally shady reasons. My daughter-in-law, another male friend, a friend's daughter - what do all these friends have in common? They were DWB - driving while black.

No, all police officers are not racist, but the proclivity with which this happens is, frankly, astounding. To stop it we must name it - to ignore it means it will continue and I'd really like for my children and grandchildren to be able to someday drive, but not be pulled over because they are DWB.

Serving

This past Sunday night I was once again privileged to serve dinner at the Simpson's Men's Shelter which houses @75 men every night. I am the leader at our church in the area of service and get to arrange our service projects. I love it and love that serving in the name of Christ is an act of worship to Him.

Every time we go I am filled with gratitude that I have never needed worry about where my next meal would come from or where I would lay my head that night. I am humbled by the men we serve and how they somehow find the strength every day to get up, go out and either look for work, work at their jobs - many are employed in minimum wage jobs, or just wander all day before they can come back to the church's basement and lay their heads. The mattresses they have on the floor of the church are very close to each other and a staff or volunteer takes turns watching over them every night for their safety.

Many of the men are plagued by mental health issues. As I was passing out cookies table to table I asked one gentleman if he'd like some, but he took no notice of me. He was quite disheveled, with very long and unkempt hair. Later he walked past me and was softly talking to himself. I wondered what it must be like for someone who is in the depths of mental illness. Does he realize it is happening or is it just "normal" for him? It seems as if it would be so lonely not to connect with other people, but does he feel a connection with what he hears in his mind?

It is always so wonderful to bring new people along to help and hear what strikes them. The gratitude and politeness the men express surprises many. I think how weary I would be to always feel as if I needed to thanks others for even my basic needs if I couldn't provide them for myself.

Today I am tired as I was up most of the night due to kid's needs. However, when they went off to school I climbed back into my bed and slept a couple hours. If the men at the shelter are ill, they still must leave at 6:30AM and wander or work till 6:30 that evening. Today, especially, I am very very grateful I am that my tired body has a place to rest whenever I am weary and I am thinking of the men to whom we served chili Sun. night and praying that they are warm and comfortable today and that someone shows them God's love today as we tried to Sun. night.

So not fair!

Yesterday Shannon had an appointment with her back specialist. He's been watching her scoliosis for years and we had expected that eventually major back surgery would be needed, but thought we had at least a few more years before we had to deal with it. Well, yesterday's X-rays showed a 55 degree curvature - a 10 degree increase in 6 months. She has curves in 2 spots. She also gained 10 lbs. and grew 1 and 1/2".

Mark said he felt like he was punched in the stomach - just wasn't expecting it. It's not a great time for our family either with wedding plans and all, but that seems selfish to even mention when Shannon will have to deal, well has to deal, with so much pain so very often. She rarely awakens in the morning without crying from pain due to her cerebral palsy.

When my kids complain about something being unfair I often give the mommy answer - who said life was fair. But honestly, this is just so very very unfair.

Wedding Wedding Wedding

Our daughter Melissa set a wedding date right after Christmas and it's been busy busy making plans for that. Tomorrow we are going to tour the wedding and reception site. Mark and I were at a wedding there, but they have yet to see it - hopefully they will like it as much as we did. Of course, there will not be any snow May 28 - I know it's Minnesota, but that would definitely be ridiculous.

Last week I went to a fabric warehouse and amazingly found a bolt of fabric that matches the sash on her dress - it's called azalea, so kind of a dark pink. I was really excited to find it as I hadn't found anything close to it at the local fabric stores. So, now 6 little girl dresses to make and 2 bow ties for Chris and his buddy - it's a long story, but he has been collecting bow ties. I will also be making Melissa's daughter Kaia's dress which will match Melissa. Should be cute.

Beautiful Eyes

Yesterday Ella was invited to a new friend's house. She was in heaven as her friend has horses, among other things. A lovely home and only one older sibling - like going to Mars for Ella.

After she came home she was standing in the kitchen and asked me if I thought she had the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. I was taken aback. Of course I think she is gorgeous, but it's not something I often tell her. She said her friend's mom had made this comment about her eyes. A bit later I found her in the bathroom "smiling" at her eyes. That mom has no idea the impact of that simple statement.

In the world we live in it is blue eyed blondes which rule the beauty mark, so to speak. So for that mom to state - really the obvious - just made this mom and that 8 yr. old's day.

End of the year - End of the decade

As I was contemplating where I was 10 years ago I realized that although the years do fly by faster the older I get - I'm amazed at all that has happened this past decade. Our family doubled!

Ten years ago my oldest child was 25 - my youngest was 9. In this past decade we added 4 children, married off 2, had one experience a divorce and remarriage and welcomed 2 grandchildren into our ever expanding family. Perhaps the weirdest thing is that as we enter this decade our youngest is now 6. At this rate we'll never finish raising kids - which, I've learned this past decade, you never really finish doing anyway.

There is definitely a reason the Lord doesn't allow us to see into the future. How many experiences would we miss - both good and bad - if we knew the outcome beforehand. How many lessons would go unlearned and how very anxious we would be about life. If we doubled in the last decade - what will happen in the next one? OK - that is making me a little anxious.

I've was never a big fan of New Year's resolutions until I past my 5th decade. Somehow, goals seem more important to me now. Perhaps it's because I realize how easily a year can slip through your fingers and although my day to day life is generally set out for me, I do want to be a bit more deliberate through my days. It just seems in this family spontaneity is the key to, well sanity. If you don't make plans you can't be disappointed when they don't work out. This however has lead to a huge lack of a social life, because other people do plan. So, deliberateness, if that's a word, is a goal.

I probably have some of the same goals many people have - drink more water, eat better, lose that 10 lbs., exercise etc. Other goals I hesitate to state as I don't know if I have the true ambition to achieve them.

I always wanted to write a book, and have been told often I should write about our family - but so much of our story is personal and I'm not sure I want to share it nor that I should share it. I have a tendency to be too open sometimes and must remind myself to respect the privacy of my children and that their stories are just that - their stories. I've been telling Ella lately that she should keep a journal and write down some of her experiences growing up in this family. She has such insight sometimes and lives a life that really non of her peers could possibly understand. Perhaps that is my New Year's resolution for her.

For now, I think I'll stick to the goal of blogging on a more regular basis. I'm never good on the specifics of a goal, but let's just say - at least 4 times a week. I guess next year when I look back on this I'll find out whether I made it past the month of January. Goals are just that - goals. They are not finish lines right?

Happy New Year Everyone!

Survival mode

So, we're half way through Christmas break. I know I should enjoy it, but sometimes I just get tired.

Callie woke up at 4AM today and was just about to get back to sleep at 5 when the alarm went off for Mark to get Shannon off to surgery. So, I got Shannon ready while hoping Callie didn't wake up the rest of the house and Mark got ready to go. After Mark left - I checked my phone and Jonathan had called. He and Jill were going to Las Vegas for a grad celebration. Well, their cab didn't show and they were panicking. Thankfully their place and the airport were all on the way to the hospital. Apparently with all the increased security they just made it.

So, it took until about 6:30 for Callie to fall back to sleep and by then I couldn't. Nothing more frustrating then trying to fall to sleep.

Shannon's surgery was to remove her the plate which was put into place after her hip surgery last year. It has really caused a lot of pain over the last year and we are really counting on it relieving that. She also had botox and phenol injections which help with her spasticity. She is such a trooper, but it's been a tough year for her.

Here's hoping for a restful night - pretty please.