Today we had a winter storm. Lots of beautiful, heavy snow. Callie, Ella and I went to a dance practice for next week's church service. Callie, as expected, learned the moves much more quickly than I did - including the boy's moves I think. She exudes such confidence when she is dancing or singing. She has non of the fears of messing up we other humans all tend to have. It's always beautiful to watch.
When we left the building the snow had continued to accumulate and the parking lot had not been plowed. As I pulled out the tires spun a little and we were stuck - not horribly, but it caused Callie great concern. Even as I was able to pull us out of it she was bailing. She opened the door and Ella tried to grab her from the front seat back into the car. I was torn between what every Minnesotan knows - once you're moving don't stop. You can barely be moving, but you never stop. Obviously, I had to stop. I also had a friend who's van was stuck about 30 ft. in front of us.
Callie got out of the car and refused to get back in. I tried everything to convince her to get back in her seat. A group had gathered to push my friend's vehicle in front of us. Callie started pushing me, got into my seat and kicked at me to get me away from the car. Ella, wisely, turned off the car and grabbed the keys. We've been in this situation before, but never in the middle of a snowstorm. Finally she started walking towards the friend's car. She added her push to the back of the vehicle and we helped, as best we could. Finally their car went on it's way. I didn't know what Callie would do, but thankfully, she got in and I had somehow managed to engage the child locks on both back doors. Hopefully, no matter what happened, we could keep her in the vehicle and make it home.
God was very gracious to us and we made it home with little spinning of the tires, which also sets off a beeper in our car - I know what spinning tires and swerving cars are - Minnesotan here. They are also very un-Callie friendly.
The juxtaposition of Callie's confidence in singing and dancing against the inability to conquer her anxiety of the car spinning out was so typical of Callie's life. She can be so very confident and unshaken in some things and just can not deal with other unexpected and un-welcomed surprises in life.
Just like driving a car in a snowstorm, we will continue the slow constant driving - pushing along and not stopping. Sometimes confidently and sometimes with great insecurity in our ability to stay on the road we will just continue moving forward. Turning around isn't an option.