Ah - Junior High

Fun start to this week. Dinner with 3 girlfriends that I've known for like 17 yrs. now - wow! This year was the first time we hadn't managed to get together around Christmas, so it had been a long time. As is often true with true friends we picked right up where we left off. So much to catch up on.

We met as jr. high youth leaders at church. My eldest was just entering jr. high and we were new to this church. As is often true in a large church you really have to find your niche to develop friendships - and in jr. high I found mine. Not sure what that says about me, but there you have it. It was a tough age for most of us and I now have 2 more kids of my own entering middle school next year.

I must say I don't look forward to parenting them through those ages. For my older son with Down's it was the most difficult time. He rode the "regular" bus and kids would spit at him and throw pencils. He was barely verbal, but could spew a few swear words, which he usually did when he got off the bus. Our neighbor girl who was the same age was so upset by the abuse he took - which we wouldn't have known about had she not told us. How much different it is for typical kids who have the privilege of developing relationships as children with kid's who have disabilities. Their comfort level towards adults with disabilities will be so different and rather then recoiling from their touch - yes that does happen- they will show warmth.

Christian and Shannon will, however, ride the "special ed." bus. Their ride to school will be safe and Shannon will never be alone in school due to her disability, but Christian eventually may navigate the hallways alone sometimes. So, we'll see. In his mind I know he can't imagine that anyone wouldn't want to be with him. I know he'd understand if people were outright mean to him or outright teased him, but he might miss the subtlety of some teasing.

Well, onward and upward they go nonetheless and they, like many typical kids, will survive the trials and tribulations of school life to enter adulthood where everyone is just nice to each other. Yeah, well, fine - my rose colored glasses work just fine for me. How much kinder and gentler our world could be if we all wore them. Come on - try them for a day and let me know how that works for you.

Yet another one bites the dust

Looking at my last blog I realize it has been a month full of sick people here and there is no end in sight right now.  It took 4 visits and 4 antibiotics and 4 pediatricians before Jacob started to feel better.  The last doc thought it was a sinus infection - whatever - he finally got back to life.  Callie just had her second visit yesterday to the pediatrician.  The first time she just had one raging ear infection.  Now, she has both ears infected, pus on her tonsils - sorry gross - and asthma has kicked up.  So, another try at antibiotics.  This doc thought maybe Influenza B - whatever.  So, now Shannon, who is 11, has severe cerebral palsy and is G-tube fed has the crud. She is very susceptible to pneumonia and such, so any flu isn't good for her.  Hopefully it ends with her and she doesn't develop any complications with it.

On the sunny side - the sun is shining and we've been able to air the house out several days.  Walking around our cul-de-sac pulling the wagon with Callie and Jacob the fresh air and sunshine felt like a reawakening.  Just like good health - you frequently don't know what you lost until it's gone and then when it comes back it's just so amazing to rediscover.  I just don't know how warm weather dwellers can ever appreciate spring like we do after a long winter.  It is nothing short of glorious.

Funny story - Christian was asking for something the other day - his speech is delayed and can be difficult to understand.  Jacob told me what it was and Mark said - oh, you must speak Texan ( both boys were adopted from Texas).  Jacob said - no I speak Christian.  Ella piped up - Well, I speak Callie.   Yes she does - when no one else can understand what Callie wants or needs her beloved Ella does.  What a blessing for both Callie and Christian to have siblings who feel special that they can "interpret" their siblings to the rest of us.  It is certainly no accident they are in this family together.  

What a gift of patience  Ella has to love her sister so much in spite of how difficult she can be to live with. For instance, we can't have anything hanging on the walls in their bedroom as Callie would/has broken whatever we tried to put up.   I watched the other day as the girls were out on our cul-de-sac and a car started to come around - Ella protectively stepped in front of Callie so she would stay to the side and safely out of the car's way.  It brought tears to my eyes.   

 We are so careful to make sure the kids never look at their special needs siblings as a "burden".  We want them to be allowed to feel the same way about them they do about any sibling.  When we adopted Chad - Conor was 2 and I was pregnant with Jonathan.  My dad reamed me out for "burdening" my other children with a brother with Down Syndrome.  My retort - and not too terribly patient I'm sure was - he is their brother - he will never be a burden.  Their choice to help care for him will be just that - a choice.  Just as some people raise their kids to value certain careers - we hope we've raised ours to value caring for each other.