Usually I know what sets Callie off, but last night was a mystery. She was running around the track the first time stopped and laid down on the track before finishing, but recovered. It wasn't severe enough to raise my flags. The next time around didn't go as well.
She was running ahead of me and I was chatting with another parent. I look up to see Callie whipping her shirt off. At first I thought it was Christian, it never occurred to me it could be Callie. I ran as fast as I could as did the coach from the opposite direction. There was the school's boy's lacrosse team practicing on the field as well as our whole Spec. O team. I don't know how many people got an eye full, I was too focused on getting her redressed.
She then finished running and spiraled into a the biggest meltdown I've ever been privy to. She started by pushing a younger girl from behind and then went after her younger preschool age sister. She pushed then so hard they face planted into the track. I grabbed her before she got to anyone else and then she went over the edge. She fought me for all she's worth and if you've ever gotten a good look at her you know she is nothing but muscle. She was kicking, hitting and spitting and throwing her shoes at me. I got her to the ground and just laid on top of her to see if she'd stop or wear out. We were on the ground for at least 15 min.
At one point she seemed like she was settling down and I suggested we call daddy or her friend. I got Mark on the phone and by now I was almost in tears as I wasn't sure how I would get her, Chad and Christian home - at least safely. She calmed enough to get her shoes on and I had her walk the track away from the other athletes. I tried to get her to tell me what happened, but she wasn't able to express what the problem was.
My theories run from a side ache or other physical ailment to hormones. She's 11 and clearly in the midst of puberty. Everyone was asking me what I thought had set her off. It's such a helpless feeling to not know what is causing such distress in your child and a horrible feeling that she'd hurt other children as well.
The coach told me she didn't think she'd be able to compete because of zero tolerance for violence, which I understood, but was so totally bummed as she loves it so much. Coach called me later and said she'd be calling the state office today to see if she could give her another chance on the condition that she have someone next to her at all times. I still have to find someone available to go with us and it has to be someone that knows that if she flips out it can only take a second and if your attention is elsewhere it'll be too late. She's just too fast. It'd likely be better if I stay on her and someone else helps with the boys.
It's time to get her up and ready for school and I'm trying to get psyched up to get going. It's a rare thing for me to be at a loss for how to handle most parenting issues, but this one really threw me and, frankly, frightened me. Today is a new day - I will rejoice and be glad in it. I think I can I think I can. One foot in front of the other. OK - here goes.