Gardening

I've never been much of a gardener, but this year decided to tackle our side yard and add some landscaping.  Mark, of course, provided much of the muscle, but I've worked physically harder the past few days then for quite some time.  It is turning out nicely, I think.

 Perhaps this is a sign of old age?  Seems like many people take up gardening in retirement or when they get older.  Not sure why that is because it is really hard work.  Hopefully rewarding, but hard work nonetheless.

I am sitting under my gazebo enjoying a glorious evening pre-mosquito weather and a very cool evening with a gentle breeze.  My favorite kinda weather.  I promised myself I would sit on this wonderful patio every day possible for at least a little bit.  This was a long winter - weather wise and these beautiful summer days are so very precious.

Callie + Reader's Theatre = Hilarity

In case I haven't mentioned it before Callie is missing the inhibition factor most of us develop as we become aware of the fact people are watching.  Callie, however, could not care less.  The play she was in was a take off on Little Red Riding Hood and she played a mother.  She played it well and remembered all her lines.  As she watched the other plays she ran up during one to put the pillow in it's correct spot and in another she turned a prop around that was placed backwards.  I have no question that she probably knew most if not all the lines in each play as well.

After the plays, the teacher played a DVD she made that highlighted the past year of school.  Callie sat quietly at first - then they played the Macarana song and she began doing the movements in her seat.  Next came the Electric Slide and there was no holding her back.  Her aide pulled her to the side, but unless they removed her from the classroom she was not going to stop.  Fortunately, the classroom teacher thought it was an added bonus and judging from the giggles of parents, no one seemed too terribly annoyed.  It's a difficult balance sometimes between appropriate behavior and letting her express herself.  Just because the rest of us are afraid to let it all hang out, why should we stop her from said hanging out.

Brynn Morgan has arrived!

She was born May 26 at 8:14AM weighing in at 8 lbs. 5 ozs. which surprised everyone.  The delivering doctor sai, "Looks like you have a sumo wrestler here," which Melissa decided was an acceptable statement only because the Dr. was also Asian.  There was also a clanging of a scalpel hitting the floor followed by silence and my daughter's right on humor, "5 second rule?"

Big sister Kaia spent the night with us and did quite well, but by 11AM when it was time to go meet her baby sister she was ready to go.  On the way in as we were drilling her on seeing mommy, daddy and baby Brynn - and how she was a big sister she proclaimed, "OK I try."  When it came down to sharing daddy's lap with baby Brynn she did what every 2 yr. old does - tried to push her off daddy's lap.  Such is the beginning of sibling rivalry.

Now, everyone is home and the adjustment will begin.  I try to remember what that was like after Jonathan was born - I came home to Conor, 3, but also Chad, 9, who we had adopted just 7 mos. earlier.  Mark's mother graciously stayed with the boys while I was in the hospital, but had to return home as soon as I was home.  Somehow we all manage to adjust as will they - as I like to say - it's our new normal.

Mother's Day 2011

I have never shared a Mother's Day with my mother as she died before I became one.  I also never lived in the same town as my mother-in-law, so other than a phone call, the holiday has always been mine alone.  This may not have been in my favor as it allowed me to make it all about me.  For probably the first 20+ years I celebrated Mother's Day my dear husband tried to make it special for me, but my expectations were absurd.  He also frequently had to work and so getting the day "off" for either of us wasn't working very well.

Several years back I mentioned to my kids that I wanted a 4 slice toaster for Mother's Day - unfortunately my sarcasm was lost on them and they were so excited when Mark presented this present to me. I stared back and very ungraciously said - seriously a toaster.  

I finally decided that my husband was the most wonderful father and generous husband and that giving him a bad time for being a less than perfect gift giver said more about what an ungrateful person I was than whether or not he appreciated me.  

The best gift we gave ourselves was no gifts at all.  We either buy something for ourselves or just go out for dinner and a movie or sometimes spend a night in a motel - all better than stressing out trying to buy just that right thing.

However, this year he about busted a gut with excitement, although I was clueless, when he presented me with the most generous gift ever - a laptop computer.  Not just any laptop, but a MacBook Air.  I've been waxing poetic about that book I'm going to write someday and how it would be so much easier if I just had a laptop I could use.  Well, here it is and now the pressure is on.  Not from number one husband, but from myself.  

This present totally makes up for the toaster - I pinky swear promise to never mention it again.  Oh my goodness, how in heavens name can I match this for Father's Day - yikes!

Cultural Literacy - Sort Of

I take my role as a caucasian mother raising AA children very seriously.  So much cultural information that  a AA child might pick up just being in a black family or community generally becomes a purposeful conversation for us.  Some are important pieces of history or teaching racial slurs so they know when they are being insulted - a coping skill they definitely need to know.  Then there are the hilarious or absurd conversations as the one we had last night.

My Ella is a very curvy girl already and will become more so as she grows and giving her a good self image is utmost on my mind when I look at how quickly she is physically maturing.  So conversations such as we had in the car last night are important for us to have.  What a huge disservice I would do to my daughter to send her out into the world completely ignorant to her history and culture.  Therefore, we had a talk about big butts - yes a very cultural conversation.

While switching stations they were listening to a hip hop song which had a reference to a girl's big backyard - not sure they heard it, but I started gabbing that many hip hop songs make references to, well, big butts - which is cultural.  So, I started telling Ella what a great apple bottom she has and how when a black woman asks, "Do these pants make my butt look big?" and someone says yes - this is the answer they're hoping to hear.  On the other hand, a white woman would likely be insulted.  "Isn't that silly," I said.

Then I launched into the song from Sir Mix-A-Lot that they know from Shrek, "I like big butts and I cannot lie!"

Special Olympics flashback

Callie and Christian are both old enough to participate in Special Olympics now, so I signed them up for track and field.  Chad, who is 36 now, was active for a few years when he was in elementary school.  For a variety of reasons we stopped participating, not the least of which was his fear of starter guns.  He would stand at the starter line with his hands on his ears waiting for the gun to go off and after all the other athletes were well on their way he would start his run.

 I assumed with the awareness of sensory issues, sensitivity to sound being a big one, another way to start races would have been in place.  But, as Callie lined up to run for the first time, with her ear protectors in place, she saw the starter gun and started walking briskly the other direction.  I was very clear that if the gun was used, we would likely have to leave and the dad put the gun away without hesitation.  I asked the coach if they would be used at the meets and the answer was a clear yes.

It seemed an e-mail to the state office was in order to express some dismay that the use of guns was still in effect.  The reply I got was that when a sport traditionally uses a starter gun, then that's what they do.  If an athlete has a problem with the gun a whistle can be used in it's place.  Now this really shows no understanding of sensory issues as any gun going off anywhere in the arena will send Callie running - and not as intended.

After stewing about it a bit I decided that we should figure out a way for her to make peace with the starter gun.  She can't spend her whole life arranging her life around the possibility of loud and unexpected noises.    So, a new pair of ear protectors, hopefully a more effective pair, are on order.  The $200+ ones are out of our price range, so hopefully the $35 will suffice.  I'm also tracking down a starter gun and darn it we're going to do our level best to help her overcome her fear.  She's overcome so much, why not this?

Now, as to the Special Olympics - one of the meanings of special refers to exceptional.  Callie is nothing if not exceptional and if anyone deserves to run in the Special Olympics - she does.

Well Preserved

The other day I was shopping with Shannon - a rare occasion for us for several reasons.  Generally I do not shop with children.  The majority of my kids are not recreational shoppers.  This is probably due to the fact that it is rare that a purchase is likely to be made and unless it's a toy - they're not interested.  Works for me.

So, Shannon will soon be 14 - amazing - and we were having a girl's day out.  I found a cute outfit for her at Macy's - major clearance - and we were checking out.  I didn't have my Macy's card, so gave her my ID to look up my account info.  Obviously she took note of my age, but I didn't realize that was the catalyst of the conversational exchange we then had.  She first started commenting on my coral colored hoodie and what a great color it was on me.  Then she proceeded to tell me, in a very thick Asian accent which for some reason made it funnier, how I didn't have any age spots on my face or wrinkles.  Well, now that's just ridiculous as it took me a pound of make up to cover both those things up.

At first I was kind of flattered and then I realized she was commenting because she knew what my advanced age was and I officially have hit the "well-preserved" category.  I guess that's still a good thing, but it's hard to get used to the - you look great...............for your age - comments.