Cookies with Kaia

Yesterday I got to have my Grandgirlies over for the day while mom and dad worked.  Kaia, 2 1/2, and I made cookies.  I found a cookie sheet that has Christmas shapes built in so you just push the dough in.  For a little one it seemed just the right amount of work.  As we were mixing the dough and pushing it into the pan I started thinking about my mother.

My mom died when I was 19 and was never able to enjoy grandparenting.  I was so sad for all she has missed.   I think she would have enjoyed it.  She might not have enjoyed the domestic type projects we were pursuing yesterday, but she would have loved to have taken the kids to plays, concerts, museums or movies.  How much she has missed.  I felt a  burden yesterday - of the joyful kind, if that's possible - to somehow make my mother a part of our day.

So, I enjoyed every minute of yesterday.  I was experiencing the joy for the both of us.  I miss you mom.

Feed the World?

Ella, Jacob and I were out for dinner.  The Christmas song, "Let them know it's Christmas Time", which has the refrain, "Feed the World" in it was playing overhead.  Jacob mistakenly thought they said feed the squirrels.  Of course I burst out laughing.  Ella shook her head and said, "See this is why I don't like going out with you two.  First Jacob says something funny and then you laugh too loud and I think to myself, I'm not with this white woman."  She, of course, continues with how she knows we're her family and she 's happy to be here.  She's way too thoughtful to just leave the slam where it is, even though it's completely tongue in cheek.

Youtube is for Eternity

I was reciting John 3:16 with Callie the other night and I asked her - eternal life - where will you spend eternal life?  She thought a minute and blurted - "Youtube".  That girl just cracks me up.  We repeated the same scenario last night and she replied, "Crazy ride".  I think we'll move on tonight - not sure I want to hear her next description.

That is not how I envision heaven at all, but with her current obsession with amusement rides this apparently signifies paradise.  Perhaps it's the possibility of all her fears dissolving, never needing her earmuffs to cover up the myriad of noises that daily assault her hearing and send her running from rooms or hugging the earmuffs tightly to her head.

I envision heaven for Callie being a place where she can run, play, dance and sing without worries of sudden noises.  Where her senses can take in all the sounds, smells and sights with joyous abandon and without fear of any kind.  How awesome that will be - seeing all my kids with all their earthly chains - physical disabilities, cognitive delays, mental health issues, learning disabilities - freed to express and experience everything to the fullest will truly be heaven for me too.

To quote a song we used to sing, "Heaven is a wonderful place - filled with glory and grace"

Chris turns 21!

Christopher turns 21 today.  He is the only child who has lived under our roof with every sibling.  Other than a few months at a time none of the other older siblings has lived with their younger siblings.  When Ella was very young he made her call him "boss" which she still calls him.  There was a a time when that annoyed me and now it's just kind of funny.

                                                           Happy Birthday Chris!

Other Centered Santa

Most years Ella and Jacob have seen Santa at our foster son Robby's group home.  This Santa is different than other Santa's.  He 's very other centered.  He does let the kids tell him what they want for Christmas, but also talks about giving to others.

Jacob got on his lap and Santa asked him if he'd been good.  Jacob hesitated and Santa looked at Ella - let's ask someone who doesn't know you  - knowing perfectly well they were siblings.  Ella didn't seem sure how to answer - she hesitantly answered, "yes to the has he been good question."  On the way home Ella explained to Jacob that Santa doesn't expect perfection.  She continued that he's really just expecting more of a 50/50 good to bad ratio.

Santa then asked Ella what she wanted and she kept hedging with I don't know.  He said, "Let's put it this way. What would make you happy?"  She said, "Mom I thought I have everything that makes me happy  - friends, family and comfort.  He gave me two choices.  I could either write him a note asking for something for myself or I could give up my request and he would get a toy for someone who doesn't have any.  I was thinking maybe I could do both.  Something small for me and something for someone else."  I love that she was giving it so much thought.  Seemed like character building on her part.

Now on the other hand Christian totally reenacted a scene from the movie "Elf".  When Santa walked in he excitedly pointed and shouted, "I know him"!  A good time had by all.

In Sync - but not the band

Yesterday it was very hectic here, not especially unusual I suppose.  I was running in the door after dropping Ella off at soccer practice and Mark was slicing mushrooms while he had something outside on the grill.  He said, "Can you take over?"  "Sure," I said.  Our Melissa was standing in the kitchen and commented on our ability to, relatively seamlessly, take over each other's duties when needed.  Mind you it's not always seamless and I have a tendency to think my way is better than however Mark is going to do it, but generally we are in sync, shall we say.

It's a good reminder that the easy rhythm we have in our marriage wasn't always there and I need to remind our young married kids that this too will happen for them, but it takes time.  Sure we still get on each other's nerves and step on each other's toes, but the practice of every day living does cut down on those times.

Years back a good friend who also had been married for, probably 25 yrs. at that point, said the thing he would most miss if his marriage ended was the history they shared together.  How true it is that no one else has been there for all the experiences we've enjoyed and sometimes endured together.  There are so many expressions or jokes we repeat or stories we remember that no one else shares.  The longer we're together the more memories we gather.  Well, now I'm just depressing myself because like it or not someday there will cease to be new memories to share.  With the household of kids we're still raising one of the rare times we argue it's over who gets to go first - Me first - Me first!

Callie is 11!

Our Callie girl is 11 today.   She loves the Katy Perry song "FIrework" and it fits her. There's a stanza in it that reads "You don't have to feel like a waste of space - You're original cannot be replaced - If you only knew what the future holds - After a hurricane comes a rainbow"  Then the verse which is belted - "'Cause baby you're a firework - Come on show 'em what you're worth - Make 'em go oh, oh, oh - As you shoot across the sky."

Every time I hear this song I think of Callie and am grateful for the little firecracker she's become.  I'll admit we're still often in the hurricane stage with her, but she shows her rainbow side on a regular basis and we were often unsure that would be the case.

Nearly every day she awes us with something new.  This year will be full of Callie hurricanes and rainbows which is what makes life so very exciting and challenging.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALLIE!